Exploring Self and Cambridge
As I wander through the misty streets of Cambridge, the whispers of the city's ancient secrets seemed to caress my ears like a gentle breeze. The University's hallowed halls, once home to spirited debates and intellectual showdowns, now stood like sentinels, guarding the mysteries that lay within. And yet, as I delved deeper into the heart of this fabled city, I began to uncover the threads that wove together the very fabric of my own identity.
Varsity Online hints that this journey of self-discovery was not solely the result of chance, but a deliberate convergence of fate and curiosity. The shadows danced across the cobblestones as I strolled along the Cam, the majestic Colleges standing like giants against the emerging twilight. It was as if the city itself was conspiring to reveal its deepest secrets... to whisper the answers to the questions that had been plaguing me for so long.
And then, like a whispered incantation, the words began to emerge: "Who am I?" The city's reply was a riddle, a puzzle that only I could solve. With each step, the mystery deepened, "the answers eluding me like will-o-the-wisps in the darkness." And yet, "I sensed that I was closing in on the truth.".. that the very essence of my being was waiting to be uncovered in the heart of this enigmatic city.
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Take it from a former nerdy East London lesbian with no time for pretension: Cambridge changes you. I left Hackney in September with a double hoop nose ring, a poster emblazoned with the words ‘Never Kiss a Tory', and black high-heeled boots for towering over men in clubs. I returned weary-eyed after Michaelmas with friends who skied, a posh grammar school boyfriend in tow, and ready for a few searching questions from my parents. So, what happened?
Next, within a year, I had gone from a commitment-averse lover of girls, with bright red hair and a few dodgy tattoos, to the girl with a boyfriend she met in Freshers. I soon found that expressing my bisexuality whilst dating a man was something new and weird, and coming home at Christmas was met with wide-eyed friends asking: “Wait, you're dating a boy ?”
I'd gone from being the slightly nerdy girl in the friend group, who would balance her Oxbridge application with three nights out a week (while my friends partied most nights, delaying UCAS another year), to entering an institution where a couple of piercings and being a regular at a few Dalston nightclubs suddenly set you apart from from the rest. I mean, I could even be considered ‘cool' now (though the bar is admittedly pretty low).
And, even if you can't keep your entrenched identity from before, there are ways to deal with the changes. Firstly, don't fight it so hard. You don't have to be who you were, with the same hobbies, interests, or friends. Realising that — with my three hours of studying per day compared to other people's 8 plus hours — I would not be viewed as particularly hard-working, took a massive burden off my shoulders. Going from being an anxious, overachiever to being just plain anxious felt kind of nice. I may have been a bit of a geek in London, but certainly not here.
Varsity is the independent newspaper for the University of Cambridge, established in its current form in 1947. In order to maintain our editorial independence, our print newspaper and news website receives no funding from the University of Cambridge or its constituent Colleges.
