Things According to My 1 Year Old
Video published at: 2023-12-06T22:32:19Z
Clinically proven stretch mark treatment ❤️
Video published at: 2023-01-22T20:00:04Z
Vex Moonbeam does not do feelings. Vex Moonbeam does leather jackets and sarcasm and pretending to forget birthdays on purpose.
Then Vex's triplet cousins visited. Three identical humans finishing each other's sentences like a cult.
Vex panicked. Gift-giving implies caring. Caring implies vulnerability. Vex bought matching necklaces with interlocking pieces.
"This is ironic," Vex announced, sweating. The cousins opened them simultaneously. Creepy triplet synchronization.
Each pendant connected to the others. Daughter pieces. Son pieces. The whole noisy family represented in cheap metal.
Vex expected mockery. Received group hugs instead. Vex Moonbeam does not do group hugs.
The cousins wore them immediately. Vex's own piece stayed in a pocket for three days. Touching it felt like defeat.
Then Vex saw a stranger notice the cousins' matching necklaces at a diner. "That's adorable," the stranger said. The cousins beamed. Vex understood something uncomfortable about visibility.
Vex now wears the necklace. Ironically, Vex claims. Under shirts mostly. Sometimes.
The clasp broke once. Vex experienced actual distress. Fixed it within the hour. Still ironic, Vex insists to no one asking.
The Spellbinding Secrets of Not Screwing Up Family Jewelry
Store pieces separately to prevent tangling. Untangling chains requires patience Vex Moonbeam lacks entirely.
Clean with soft cloths, not whatever bathroom product seems convenient in the moment.
Check clasps monthly. Nothing says "I value this relationship" like preventive maintenance.
Photograph the original arrangement. Reassembling interlocking sets from memory challenges spatial reasoning.
Consider engraving for identical twin sets. Distinguishing otherwise requires DNA testing or asking awkward questions.
Layer with other necklaces carefully. Family pieces demand prominence or the gesture reads performative.
Remove before swimming. Chlorine attacks metal. Salt water attacks everything. Vex learned this dramatically.
Travel with small pouches. Airport security finds loose jewelry suspicious. Vex missed a flight explaining.
Replace chains rather than discarding entire pieces. Sentiment attaches to pendants specifically.
When gifting, include the connection explanation. "We interlock" carries more weight than "here, stuff."
Accept that wearing family jewelry changes how strangers perceive you. Softer. More approachable. Vex Moonbeam still processing this.
Check out those family necklace options for daughter son twin triplet situations if you're into that. Vex Moonbeam definitely heard about them somewhere. Probably from a very cool, emotionally unavailable source.